Most parents want their children to be independent and independent. However, it is not clear to many people how a strong-minded child is cultivated and how it is the expression of the spirit of independence.
The premise of self-determination is autonomy.
The growth stage of human autonomy is divided into three stages: early childhood at the age of two or three, childhood at the age of eight or nine, and adolescence at the age of twelve or thirteen. Around the age of two or three, children like to do things by themselves; Around the age of eight or nine, children begin to have ideas of their own; Around age 12 or 13, children begin to feel adult and want to be respected.
Children in these three stages are often stubborn, willful, and even rebellious. If parents do not understand that children are experiencing a sensitive period of autonomy in psychological growth, treat their children’s self-insistence as a monster of flood, and use coercive means to subdue their children, then they will kill the embryonic spirit of autonomy in children. It’s very difficult to recreate that spirit of independence when your child grows up to be submissive, timid, or selfish and lazy.
Kids who are self-reliant can be a lot of trouble at first.
At the beginning, will say few words, a “don’t” said clearly and firmly; Just will take a spoon, will eat by themselves, often make a mess; Just will wear clothes, will wear their own clothes and hats, slowly put the parents anxious ants on the hot pot; When I was eight or nine years old, I began to debate with my parents, instead of blindly worshipping and obeying them. When they are 12 or 13 years old, they begin to act like small adults, asking for independence and respect for their “human rights”.
Such a child, it is easy to make impatient parents angry. As a result, such children are easy to be roughed up and learn the hard way about autonomy early on. Some children will bow their heads from now on, identify with their parents’ arrangement, become a patient doormat, loser; Some children are high spirited and refuse to give in. They slowly become “rebels” who disagree with their parents and like to challenge the authority of the rules.
Only those children who are fully respected by their parents, listened to patiently and treated rationally, can not only insist on their own rights and opinions, but also listen to the opinions and suggestions of others, have judgment and choice, and form a relatively ideal character.
Being a parent is never simple and easy. When children are young, the simple approach works well at the time, but it’s a recipe for disaster. And those who respect the rules of their children’s growth, not afraid of trouble, will be more and more relaxed.
What is better, the child’s growth and development, is the best illustration.
It is very difficult to get a child to obey. Now I can learn your method, which can make the child independent. It is a good plan.
Do it, and you’ll be surprised.