There are some universally applicable techniques and wisdom when dealing with teenagers.
First, treat each other with respect and avoid condescension.
Talking to anyone, looking them at eye level, and listening intently are all effective ways to build a relationship.
The effect of this measure is particularly strong in adolescents, who are particularly concerned about how others treat them. Even if we frankly oppose some ideas and behaviors of children, but full respect of the sincere attitude, can also win the children’s understanding and acceptance.
Secondly, seek common ground while reserving differences, be in harmony without differences, and actively focus on children’s shining points.
Everyone is eager to be affirmed and appreciated by others, especially adolescents. When we with a sincere attitude, positive evaluation of the child’s efforts and achievements, the child’s inner joy is beyond words. Children are more open to people who approve of them and are more open to their opinions.
Third, TEACH people to fish rather than teach people to fish, guide children to find their own direction of improvement.
Regardless of the distance of the relationship, outspoken criticism and suggestions to meddle in the affairs of the parties are all negative, and it is natural to cause resistance and antipathy on the other side. The ancients say that good guidance, in fact, is a guided exchange of wisdom. To the role of a partner and assistant, to assist each other to think, success and not live, is a very high wisdom, also need a high accomplishment.
Fourth, avoid setting up targets.
Adolescent children have strong self-esteem, sometimes in order to maintain their mature, independent image, will deliberately work against others, especially parents and teachers. “I’ll do whatever you want me to do. Treat me like a child. No way!” Even if a thing is intended to do and like to do, but parents and teachers said first, they will not do. Because it would look like they were following someone else’s orders, which would be humiliating. It is wise to leave the initiative and choice in the hands of your child by asking “What do you think should be done?” “Or” What’s the best thing to do in this situation?” Let the children have the opportunity to show their ability, adults only do some hints and supplements. This may seem like a child’s reward, but it’s the best of both worlds.
Fifth, encourage children to surpass their parents.
Adolescence is an important time for everyone to establish their own identity. “Who am I? How am I? Who am I going to be?” It is an important issue that needs to be clarified gradually at this stage. Encourage children to surpass their parents, is the most sincere blessing to children. This permission is very important. Because children have a subconscious need to be loyal to their parents, going beyond their parents is a kind of defeat and betrayal of their parents. Only parents’ encouragement can dispel children’s concerns.
Sixth, lead by example.
Parents who first demonstrate what they want their children to be are more effective than any persuasion. This kind of unspoken instruction is the simplest, yet the most effective.
Finally, move on, not bring up the past.
Children will inevitably make mistakes or encounter setbacks, for these experiences, timely summary can be done, after the completion of the chapter. If a person always looks back when the road, it is inevitable to neglect the moment, easy to fall again.