There are two kinds of egocentric people. One is the giant baby who demands too much and thinks that everyone in the world should be like a parent and meet all his needs unconditionally. One is the sage, love infinite, to help the world as their own responsibility.
The first kind of people, regardless of their biological age, regardless of whether they succeed in school or career, share the same characteristics: dependence, rascal and double standard.
The so-called dependence, is to see their own needs than days, who can not have a higher priority than their own.
The so-called scoundrels, is in need of them to take responsibility for their own behavior, in need of them for others, for the collective pay, they become the responsibility of the “non-stick pan”, a lot of excuses, blame the first.
The second kind of people, on the surface always put the needs of others in the first place, sacrifice for others. They go further than that: unsolicited expressions of concern, unsolicited offers of help, enthusiasm to send the Buddha to heaven.
They and healthy people in the behavior of the difference is not big, but enthusiastic, enthusiastic a little too much, let a person in the moved slightly a little uncomfortable.
In terms of internal mentality, they are fundamentally different from healthy helpers: behind their generous and warm-hearted actions, they hide a strong desire to be affirmed, appreciated, and recognized. At the same time, they also have a sense of self-importance and self-pride that goes hand in hand with inferiority. Behind the surface enthusiasm is the omnipotent narcissism and moral superiority of being superior to others.
Healthy people, like water, benefit all things without contention, success without residence; They respect others’ choices, recognize others’ abilities, and enforce interpersonal boundaries. They are neither passive nor overactive; they act only when they need to. A man of beauty, willing to do behind-the-scenes hero.
They are used to being cared for, tolerated and served, but they don’t have the experience of giving back to others. They don’t understand the principle of “all for one and one for all”. They are insatiable and whiny, but have no idea what their problems are. These people look proud and superior, but in fact they are empty and lonely, because there is no place for anyone else in their heart, so they have to feel the feeling of being alone and in isolation, but they still have to put on an air of indifference in front of others.
Giving people, who often grew up with little attention, are eager to prove their competence and value, and want to be recognized and appreciated by significant others. Lucky people are aware of their inner desires and adjust in time for growth. Some people, because the real consciousness is too deep to extract, even if they are aware of their own behavior, also do not know so, can only be confused in trouble and pain.
Both the demanding giant baby and the giving “saint” are unhappy. They both have room to grow. People who recognize the root of their problems and take courageous action to adjust should be happier.